Big Mose Of The Bowery

Oh! the night that I struck New York,
I went out for a quiet walk.
Folks who are on to the city say,
Better by far that I took Broadway.
But I was out to enjoy the sights,
There was the Bow'ry a blaze with lights;
I had one of the devil's own nights,
I'll never go there any more!
The Bow'ry, the Bow'ry!
They say such things,
And they do strange things
On the Bow'ry!
The Bow'ry!
I'll never go there any more!
I had walked but a block or two,
When up came a fellow and me he knew;
Then a policeman came walking by
Chased him away, and I ask'd him, " Why?"
"Wasn't he pulling your leg?" said he;
Said I: "He never laid hands on me!"
"Get off the Bow'ry, you, yep!" said he.
I'll never go there any more!
The Bow'ry, the Bow'ry!
They say such things,
And they do strange things
On the Bow'ry!
The Bow'ry!
I'll never go there any more!
Then I went into an auction store,
I never saw any thieves before.
First he sold me a pair of socks,
Then said he, "How much for the box?"
Someone said "two dollars!", I said "three!"
He emptied the box and he gave it to me,
"I told you the box, not the socks," said he.
I'll never go there any more!
The Bow'ry, the Bow'ry!
They say such things,
And they do strange things
On the Bow'ry!
The Bow'ry!
I'll never go there any more!
I went into a concert hall,
I didn't have a good time at all.
Just the minute that I sat down
Girls began singing "New Goon in Town."
I got up mad, and I spoke out free,
"Somebody put that man out," said she;
A man called a bouncer attended to me,
I'll never go there any more!
The Bow'ry, the Bow'ry!
They say such things,
And they do strange things
On the Bow'ry!
The Bow'ry!
I'll never go there any more!
I went into a barber shop,
He talk'd till I thought he'd never stop.
I: "Cut it short", he misunderstood,
Clipp'd down my hair just as close as he could.
He shaved with a razor that scratched like a pin,
Took off my whiskers and most of my chin.
That was the worst scrape I ever got in,
I'll never go there any more!
The Bow'ry, the Bow'ry!
They say such things,
And they do strange things
On the Bow'ry!
The Bow'ry!
I'll never go there any more!
I struck a place that they called a "dive,"
I was in luck to get out alive.
When the policeman had heard my woes,
Saw my black eyes and my battered nose;
"You've been held up!" said the copper, "Fly!"
"No, sir, but I've been knock'd down!" said I;
Then he laughed, tho' I couldn't see why,
I'll never go there any more!
The Bow'ry, the Bow'ry!
They say such things,
And they do strange things
On the Bow'ry!
The Bow'ry!
I'll never go there any more!