The KV Winning Streak

From Joseph Barone's Sanctuary to about a 180 degree turn to Joe Bruno, aka Joey Caps and this story

DAVID HAS ASKED ME MANY TIMES TO TELL SOME STORIES CONCERNING KNICKERBOCKER VILLAGE IN THE 70'S, 80'S AND 90'S, WHEN MOST OF YOU HAD ALREADY MOVED TO DIFFERENT LOCALES. MY STOCK ANSWER WAS THAT ALL THE GOOD STORIES, I COULDN'T TELL IN PUBLIC, DUE TO MY GREAT LOVE AFFAIR WITH LIVING.
BUT THIS ONE I THINK I CAN TELL, WITHOUT DIRE CONSEQUENCES. I THINK.
IT WAS NEW YEARS EVE/DAY, EITHER 1975/76 OR 1976/77. I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE THIS INCIDENT HAPPENED WHEN I LIVED ON THE 12TH FLOOR IN THE H BUILDING. IN EARLY 1977, I MOVED TO A 2-BEDROOM APARTMENT AT KG6.
I WAS NEWLY MARRIED, WITH NO CHILDREN, AND I DECIDED TO THROW A NEW YEARS EVE PARTY IN MY APARTMENT IN THE H BUILDING. THERE WAS ANYWHERE FROM 2O-30 PEOPLE CROWDED INTO MY TINY ONE-BEDROOM. WHICH FACED THE OLD PLAYGROUND BETWEEN THE COURTYARDS.
AT ABOUT 11:30, MOST OF US WERE FEELING PRETTY GOOD, AND I CAME UP WITH THIS TRULY BRILLIANT IDEA. I WAS A LITTLE CRAZY THEN. OBVIOUSLY, I'M MUCH BETTER NOW.
TO PULL OFF THIS STUNT I NEEDED THE HELP OF SOMEONE MORE DEMENTED THAN ME. MY CLOSE FRIEND, WHOM I'LL CALL AA, CERTAINLY FIT THIS DESCRIPTION.
THIS WAS THE TIME OF THAT ALARMING CRAZE CALLED “STREAKING.” I'M SURE WE ALL REMEMBER A BEMUSED DAVID NIVEN STANDING AT THE PODIUM AT THE ACADEMY AWARDS WHILE SOME NUT IN HIS BIRTHDAY SUIT DID THE 40 YARD DASH BEHIND HIM.
THE PLAN WAS THIS.
FOR $100 AA WOULD STREAK COMPLETELY NAKED, STARTING AT EXACTLY 12 MIDNIGHT, INSIDE THE PERIMETER OF THE WEST COURT OF KNICKERBOCKER VILLAGE. AA TRIED TO TALK ME OUT OF MORE CASH, BUT I WAS FIRM. 100 BUCKS. NOT A PENNY MORE. I PASSED THE HAT, AND GETTING 100 BUCKS FROM THE CREW WAS NO PROBLEM.
AT EXACTLY 11:50, WE PUT OUR PLAN, SO TO SPEAK, INTO MOTION.
AA, ACCOMPANIED BY OUR FRIEND FRANK, WENT DOWN THE ELEVATOR TO THE FIRST FLOOR , WHILE THE REST OF US RAN UP TO THE ROOF, SO WE'D HAVE A BIRDSEYE VIEW OF THE FESTIVITIES.
MY THEN-WIFE STOOD IN THE APARTMENT SO SHE COULD GIVE A HAND SIGNAL TOWARDS THE ROOF AS TO WHEN THE BALL AT TIMES SQUARE HAD REACHED BOTTOM, SIGNIFYING THE START OF THE NEW YEAR.
AA UNDRESSED IN THE GROUND FLOOR STAIRWELL, DOWN TO HIS SKIVVIES AND A PAIR OF WHITE SNEAKERS. THEN AS THE TIME GREW NEAR, AA AND FRANK, LEAVING AA'S CLOTHES IN THE STAIRWELL, MOVED CAREFULLY TOWARDS THE FRONT DOOR OF THE H BUILDING.
AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, AT AROUND MIDNIGHT NEW YEARS EVE, THERE WAS NO ONE IN SIGHT. THAT IS, OUTSIDE IN THE COURTYARD. EVERYONE WAS HOME CELEBRATING. THAT'S WHY THIS WAS A GENIUS MOVE.
FRANK STOOD OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR, AWAITING MY SIGNAL FROM THE ROOF. AT MIDNIGHT, MY THEN- WIFE GAVE THE HAND SIGNAL TO SOMEONE ON THE ROOF FACING THE OLD PLAYGROUND. THEY RELAYED THE MESSAGE TO ME AND I YELLED DOWN TO FRANK, “GO!!!”
AA IMMEDIATELY TOOK OFF HIS SKIVVIES, FLUNG THEM TO FRANK, AND WEARING NOTHING BUT HIS SNEAKERS AND A SMILE, HE DASHED OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR OF THE H BUILDING.
AND OFF HE WENT IN 20 DEGREE WEATHER WITH HIS BIG BELLY BOUNCING UP AND DOWN, AA TURNED RIGHT, AND DASHED TOWARDS THE G BUILDING, THEN LEFT, PAST THE GUARD HOUSE AND LEFT AGAIN AT THE L BUILDING.
BY THIS TIME, ABOUT A HUNDRED PEOPLE WERE LOOKING OUT THE KV WINDOWS, THROWING THEIR CUSTOMARY NEW YEARS EVE CONFETTI INTO THE COURTYARD. THEY SPOTTED AA, AND A ROAR WENT UP FROM THE CROWD. THE CHANTING STARTED, “RUN! RUN! RUN!”
AS AA PASSED THE K BUILDING, THE GUARD EMERGED FROM THE GUARD HOUSE. HE SCRATCHED HIS HEAD, SAW AA STREAKING ALONG, AND RAN FRANTICALLY BACK INTO THE GUARD HOUSE.
I SAW THIS FROM THE ROOF AND YELLED TO AA, “FASTER! FASTER! FASTER!
AA PICKED UP SPEED, DOING A WHEELIE AS HE TURNED LEFT AT THE J BUILDING.
I COULD SEE MY FATHER AT THE WINDOW OF JF 12 LOOKING DOWN WITH HIS WIFE FAT JULIE (MY STEP-MOTHER, AND SHE'S WORTH ANOTHER FEW STORIES). THEY WERE BOTH LAUGHING THEIR HEADS OFF, AS WERE ABOUT AN ESTIMATED 200-300 PEOPLE. WHO WERE NOW WATCHING FROM ALMOST EVERY WINDOW IN THE INSIDE WEST COURTYARD OF KNICKERBOCKER VILLAGE.
YOU COULD ALMOST SEE THE STEAM SHOOTING FROM AA'S EXHAUST, AS HE MADE THE FINAL LEFT TURN AT THE I BUILDING AND DASHED TOWARDS HOME. JUST AS HE MADE A RUNNING RIGHT TURN INTO THE H BUILDING, ANOTHER GUARD CAME SPRINTING DOWN THE STEPS TO THE GUARD HOUSE.
FOLLOWING THE PLAN TO PERFECTION, FRANKIE HANDED AA HIS SKIVVIES AND THEY BOTH RAN TO THE STAIRWELL TO THE LEFT OF THE ELEVATORS. AA QUICKLY DRESSED, AS HE AND FRANKIE RAN UP THE STAIRS. ONCE THEY REACHED THE 12 TH FLOOR, IT WAS LESS THAN FIVE FEET TO MY APARTMENT DOOR.
SAFE AT HOME.
BY THIS TIME, MOST OF OUR CROWD HAD RUN BACK DOWN TO MY APARTMENT, BUT I STAYED ON THE ROOF AND WATCHED A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER AS THE 2 GUARDS DASHED INTO THE H BUILDING. BY THEN AA AND FRANKIE WERE SAFELY CHUGGING UP THE STAIRS.
THE GUARDS FOUND NOBODY. NO STREAKER. NO WITNESSES. NO NOTHING. AND NOTHING EVER CAME FROM THE INCIDENT.
KV PEOPLE, STAYING TRUE TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD CODE, NEVER REVEALED THE IDENTITY OF OUR NEW YEARS EVE STREAKER. IN FACT, I DON'T THINK ANYONE WAS EVER EVEN ASKED.
MOST OF THEM PROBABLY NEVER RECOGNIZED AA ANYWAY, SINCE THE LAST THING THEY WERE LOOKING AT WAS HIS FACE.
BESIDES, THE TWO GUARDS WOULD NEVER WANT TO ADMIT TO THEIR KV BOSSES THAT THEY LET A FAT, NUDE, DRUNKEN, MALE STREAKER DO THE COURTYARD CIRCUIT, THEN DISAPPEAR INTO THE NIGHT ON NEW YEARS EVE. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. JUST BEAUTIFUL.
THE NEXT NEW YEARS EVE, WE TRIED TO FIND A FEMALE WHO WOULD DO THE SAME DASH THAT AA HAD DONE THE YEAR BEFORE. BUT FRANKLY, THE ONLY GIRLS WILLING TO DO THE DEED, WERE SO UNATTRACTIVE, PEOPLE WOULD HAVE LEAPED FROM THE COURTYARD WINDOWS, LIKE STOCKBROKERS DURING THE MARKET CRASH OF 1929.
IN ADDITION, THERE WAS A SLIGHT POSSIBILITY KV MANAGEMENT WOULD HAVE STEPPED UP ITS SURVEILLANCE TO PREVENT ANOTHER LIKE EVENT FROM OCCURRING.
SO WE ALL PASSED ON THE IDEA. THANKFULLY.
BUT NO ONE WHO HAD WITNESSED THE BLESSED EVENT, ON NEW YEARS EVE IN THE 1970'S, WOULD EVER FORGET WHAT HAD TRANSPIRED THAT CHILLY NIGHT.
IT WAS TRULY A KNICKERBOCKER VILLAGE UNFORGETTABLE MOMENT. RIGHT UP THERE WITH NEIL ARMSTRONG LANDING ON THE MOON. THE JETS BEATING THE COLTS IN THE 1969 SUPER BOWL. AND THE METS WINNING THE 1969 WORLD SERIES.
NOT TO MENTION FAT JULIE EATING 12 LOADED HOT DOGS IN 5 MINUTES, WHICH IS A GREAT STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME.